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Tuesday

Total bitches from films and books that I love.

I love bitches, probably because I have never made a very good one. I am good at taking the piss, but I never want to actually hurt a persons feelings, or debase them. I will live my bitch gene through this little lot I reckon.
The wicked lady. This film is too fresh. Margaret Lockwood is the perfect wicked lady. Not content with stealing her best friend’s husband, when she discovers that married life is not a sure fire path to happiness, she embarks on missions of murder, deceit and highway robbery. All through the film, she just keeps on delivering quality steeze, never showing remorse for who or what she is. She is capable of love, but rarely.

Queen Bea. Prisoner C block H was a massive part of my life for a few years. I watched it pretty much every time it was on. My mum let me have a TV in my room from a very young age, and this people, lead to a love affair with the ladies of Wentworth prison. The story lines were beyond ridiculous, the sets shabby and cardboard, the acting even more cardboard, but it was genius. The theme tune, I still know a lot of the lyrics, he used to give me roses, I wish he would again, but that was on the outside, and things were different then...


Queen Bea impressed me as a hard faced meanie, but with softer undertones, top dog for so many years, only top dog was allowed to use the ironing press, she did dish out some mean burns to upstarts for her top dog crown.
"Don't be coy with me, you are in no position. If only you had one eye in your head you could see what a delight I am, my face, my body, all my parts are a delight. An exquisite delight."
This is what the great tyrant says to Pygar, the blind angel, when she first meets him in the film Barberella. Ah,Anita Pallenberg as the great tyrant. The chamber of dreams was such a lush place to my 6 year old mind, and the way the mathmos bubbled around it. My pretty pretty.
How many total bitches could get away with wearing a clear plastic unicorn horn, whilst drinking a hubbly bubbly pipe filled with the essence of man? Another lady who said it like she saw was the fantastic diary keeper of 10th century Japan, Shei Sagon. She was a gentlewoman in the court of Empress Teishi in Kyoto. Her pillow book is filled with classic brutal truths and unsuppressed bitchiness. So vibrant is her writing, all these years later, her descriptions of court life is well absorbing. Some quotes:
Women without prospect, who lead dull earnest lives and rejoice in their petty little pseudo-pleasures, I find quite depressing and despicable.


Worthless things, Someone who is both ugly and unpleasant. Clothing starch that has gone bad.


Its delightful to see someone who's a great ladies man, and is pursuing numerous love affairs, arriving home at dawn from who knows what night time tryst.

A true bitch I would say. Her book is filled with loads of lush stories and observations, she had good skills for sure. Scarlett O Hara is such a total bitch, self obsessed, ruthless, vain, yet I love her character. The book is really well worth a read, I am learning a lot from it at present, like the caste system between southerners at that time in history, the moral code, or lack of, the beauty and richness of the land are brought right into my mind’s eye by the author Margaret Mitchell. Apparently, she wrote the book by hand, stashing chapters under her bed in a tiny two roomed house. Her bed must have been the size of the bed in the story the princess and the pea, because it is one big ass book. Scarlett is really not a nice person, but she is a survivor, and I do admire her ability to dust herself off, and go for what she believes is her birthright. I admire Micthell's writing skill, for it is that skill that makes me forgive, and even like Scarlett. It is the way she explains and reveals why Scarlett is such a bitch. She has inbred aristocrat gentle blood from her mother, and the fiery Irish peasant blood of her father. She is bright, but not naturally give to analyse people or situations. Mammas face says it all.





Becky Sharp, what a fiend. Takes husbands she does not want, steals, lies, cheats, entrances, wants nothing more to be at the top of the social ladder, and will crush or use anyone on her ascent. Got to give her props for also trying it on til the very end, where she has sunk very low.

Becky is so sharp witted, so pretty, speaks french and can play the piano beautifully, top skills for the game she likes to play. Being totally amoral is her downfall.
Last, but not least, the despicable, Marquise de Merteuil, a woman so cruel, I gasped whilst reading her exploits. She is one of the main characters in the book Dangerous Liaisons by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. Two rivals who use sex as a weapon to humiliate and degrade others, all the while enjoying their cruel games. Suffice to say, things do go tits up for them, but it is wicked fun to read. The book is written in a series of letters between the main characters, something I had not seen before reading that book. A queen bitch amongst bitches.
Pictures gathered from all around the net. Such as:
http://www.screenonline.org.uk/film/id/440901/
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://bp2.blogger.com/_8FuX4eObYf4/R_jGyG9wsOI/AAAAAAAACTc/anBxuBy3wjo/s400/Prisoner-steam%2Bpress.gif&imgrefurl=http://trashcheesevision.blogspot.com/2008/04/cheesers-choice-prisoner-cell-block-h.html&usg=__zg5AFyG-jrbCrHu0C51YvUJ6T-4=&h=276&w=348&sz=250&hl=en&start=11&sig2=qN_1zFrLrqWxep-iH89gfA&um=1&tbnid=fv2HBtqiw4Dh2M:&tbnh=95&tbnw=120&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbea%2Bfrom%2Bprisoner%2Bcell%2Bblock%2Bh%26hl%3Den%26um%3D1&ei=tyH_SeHGN8HI-Aa
http://www.psychopia.co.uk/
http://www.hubpages.com/
http://www.freedomblogging.com/
http://www.abyweb.com/


4 comments:

  1. lol I read through these posts and secretly google any mentions of old era actresses but I really don't know much about them except their freakin gorgeous and they sound like they've played some insanely wicked characters haha. Especially that Betty girl. Can you be more nasty? haha

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  2. Eeli, I know what you mean, Becky is a total cow, who never learns from mistakes, no matter how fundamental. Vanity Fair is one of the best books I have ever read. The first time I read it, as soon as I finished it, I immediately started it again. I have only done that twice, Vanity Fair & The Crimson Petal & The White.
    My fav baddy though, is the wicked lady for sure. The joy she gets from being a highway robber is infectious.

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  3. Fantastic! I am not completely intrigued by that cheeky Japanese woman - fascinating.

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  4. Thank you Sarah, Shonagon is a a lush read. So witty, catty and brutally truthful, yet she does have her tender moments, like when talking about love or insense mixing. She was in court life around the same time as the lady who wrote the tale of Genji. Murasaki Shikibu. Now that really is a fine book. Most historians say it was the first novel ever written.

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